VR gave me a grim insight into what women experience on trains

The man from across the train aisle won’t stop staring at me.

Nervously,I look down at my phone and message my mates on our WhatsApp group chat: ‘What should I do?’

‘You should move,’ replies my friend,Faye. But the guy follows me,his gaze never lowering even after I ask him point-blank why he’s staring at me.

In response,all he does is smirk and shift silently in his seat.

That’s when I take off my virtual reality (VR) headset,and I’m pulled back to the concourse of London King’s Cross train station. I feel frazzled and nervous,as if I can still feel the man’s eyes digging into me.

I’ve just taken part in a VR experience organised by the Railway Delivery Group for the membership body’s Zero Tolerance campaign.

Sexual harassment is something that,as a man,I’ve never experienced firsthand,but I know all too many women who have.

I was shown three situations in which a woman was sexually harassed by train passengers (Picture: Justin Griffith-Williams)

In the first scenario I saw,a man (right) persistently stare at a woman,even though she was visibly uncomfortable (Picture: National Rail)

And it’s exactly why I was invited to take part in the VR campaign,which aims to show people like me who may not have experienced or know what sexual harassment is,exactly what it feels like.

When I put my headset on,I was shown three scenarios which,to at least a third of women according to police figures,may feel all too familiar.

The first,called ‘intrusive staring’,puts you in the shoes of a woman,while the other two allow you to see the world as another commuter watching sexual harassment play out.

The second scenario is entitled ‘persistent questions’ and after putting my headset back on,in front of me is a bench on a station platform. A woman is sitting on it,scrolling through her phone while a leather jacket-clad man with long hair sits next to her. 

Then the questions begin: What is she watching on her phone? Where is she going? What brand is her dress? The interrogation goes on and on.

Simon Dury,a strategic communications manager with the Railway Delivery Group,at the event (Picture: Justin Griffith-Williams)

The woman,visibly unsettled,offers one-word replies to the man,but this does little to sway him.

My mind was full of questions,too. When will he stop? Will he keep grilling her even after they both hop on the train? Can I do anything to help?

In the final video – ‘catcalling’ – I’m sitting at a train table. A woman reading in front of me takes a deep breath as three men sit at the opposite table.

‘It doesn’t cost anything to smile,love,’ one of them jeers. ‘Legs are out – fire – she’s ready to go,’ the other says as the pair laugh. The woman is silent.

It’s a hard watch. But that’s the point: this is what all too many women hear while walking on the street or heading to work on the train.

Many women riding trains in Britain have stories of being leered at or harassed,having little choice but to keep their eyes down and guard up.

To travel without a fuss,some try their best to ignore the man rubbing his groin by them or throw on an extra layer while travelling,just in case.

One scenario placed me in the eyes of a woman being leered at,which inspired me to intervene if I ever saw that happening (Picture: Justin Griffith-Williams)

In London alone,a majority of women (55%) and one in five men (21%) have been victims of unwanted sexual behaviour on public transport,according to a YouGov poll.

Harriet,a London barrister,also tries the VR experience. As she takes her goggles off,she tells Metro that what she saw was nothing new.

‘I relate to it. Sometimes I think it’s ignorance; that maybe they’re being nice,’ the Earl’s Court local explains. ‘I get a lot of looks,and I respond and say,“Hello”,and I go back to what I was doing.’

‘But there is a difference between saying “Hello” and being friendly and making someone uncomfortable.’

Despite sexual harassment on public transport being on the rise,it is often ignored by bystanders,Catherine Lyver,head of marketing at the Rail Delivery Group,tells Metro.

She’s seen travellers being hounded in front of witnesses,and says the catcalling scenario was actually inspired by an incident that happened to her colleague.

However,the clip that ‘resonates’ most with Catherine is the commuter facing persistent questioning.

Harriet trying out the VR headset (Justin Griffith-Williams)

More than a third of women have experienced sexual harassment on public transit,research by the British Transport Police in 2023 found (Picture: Justin Griffith-Williams)

‘I have two stepdaughters who travel by train,particularly at night,so,if they were in that situation,I’d really welcome another fellow passenger intervening,’ she says.

Currently,however,a third of adults (35%) do not consider relentless questioning to be a form of sexual harassment –  28% feel the same about catcalling,while a fifth don’t believe intrusive staring falls under that umbrella either.

This is why the Railway Delivery Group looked to VR technology for their campaign,to help people understand what sexual harassment is.

Ways bystanders can help,if they feel safe to

Make a distraction   Bystanders can help cool down an incident by asking the victim or the attacker a question,such as ‘What’s the next stop?’,or ‘Do you have the time?’  Make a note   If you see sexual harassment happening,documenting and reporting it can help build a profile of the perpetrator and help TfL and the police stop it from happening again. Make a note of the time,the station and what the person looked like.Make sure they are okay   Check in with them and ask, ‘Are you okay?’,or let them know that ‘What happened isn’t okay.’ Offering to help the person targeted can help them feel less isolated and more confident in reporting it.Passengers who see something that makes them feel uncomfortable can report it to British Transport Police by texting 61016. In an emergency,always call 999.  Railway officials hope the experience,being hosted at various train stations,will embolden riders to intervene when they see harassment (Picture: Justin Griffith-Williams)‘VR gives us the ability to show people how uncomfortable and disturbing some of these scenarios are,’ Catherine explains.‘Sexual harassment is a societal issue and it happens in all public places – including on the railway… People might accept it,“oh,that’s just how things are”,so we want to change that.’One way to do this,she adds,is to encourage passengers to intervene when they see inappropriate behaviour,if it’s safe to do so,and report it.According to the Railway Delivery Group,85% of women would feel relieved if someone intervened while they were experiencing sexual harassment.And that opportunity arises in all three VR scenarios. A pop-up asks me if I want to stop this happening – so I press ‘yes’,of course – and I’m shown a small action a bystander can do to prevent further escalation.This can include asking to swap seats,distracting the attacker with a question or,as was the case with the catcalling scene,if it’s one of your friends harassing someone,telling them to stop. For many women on the train,wariness is second nature (Picture: Justin Griffith-Williams)One man,a London professional who wished to remain anonymous,tells Metro that the VR experience was eye-opening for him.A self-described ‘generic tall white man’,he says: ‘I think it’s really important to learn about what makes other people uncomfortable,especially as,quite often,you’ve not been in that position yourself.‘It’s easy for men not to understand how frightening or threatening it is. So the video helps with that by putting you in that person’s shoes,you see it through their eyes.‘By seeing that from a different perspective,it helps us understand we all need to act and help out as bystanders when we can.’Harriet agrees. ‘I think it’s important that men,women – everybody – be shown it,’ she adds.‘We all need to know when someone is uncomfortable and what we can do to help.’